Poetry is but a bother

these are like 3 weeks old but it's ok some people write for 5 years and never finish and that has no relevancy

Mystifying and perplexing, is the unknown known as magic
You could pull a rabbit out of a hat, disappear
Read people’s minds, even fly on your very own witch’s broomstick
There’s even that touch of fantasy, Santa’s special sled and reindeer

Truth be told, science is just the same
Alchemy, the theory of turning lead into gold
And the grandeur of wood burst aflame
All the questions unanswered, the secret truth untold

But the most intriguing of all magic is the elements
Water, fire, earth, lightning, and the shivering ice
How they mix, divide and collide is simply brilliant
To see these firsthand is surely enough to suffice
From a psychic to a sorcerer, magic stays true
Perchance you find a miracle, magic bids you adieu.

~~

Once I had a wondrous dog, full of joy and gaiety
Always barking, running, playing, even sitting on the couch for a soap opera
When my sister left for university I became his best buddy
Every day I played and sat with him on the sofa

Although he aged with me, I never thought I’d see
The time when he preferred to sleep, not set free
I was sincerely intrigued, and he needed to be carried
We took him to the doctors, indefinitely worried

To my surprise, he contracted arthritis
Not long after, I myself fell to pneumonia
Stuck in the hospital, he was unbeknownst to my crisis
As I sat there, sick and miserable

When I discharged, I was saddened to say
I could not carry him, not a single day
My stitches would tear, something I would not dare
My dad didn’t let him sleep here, only downstairs

My dog was depressed and dejected, nauseous and alone
What could I do? Powerless to better his life
He urged his legs to move on, filled with strife
Until it was time I said goodbye, tears in my eye

hello my name is ryrk how are you i am fine thx

ok banana bread is very delicious and doesn't take very long to make so it is good thing to make when hungry ok rdy 2 start ok here we go

http://sadpanda.us/images/377031-FEN97QQ.jpg

PREHEAT OVEN TO 325 DEGREES OK ----VERY IMPORTANT DO NOT SKIP OK----

http://sadpanda.us/images/377033-V74VMSC.jpg

STICK OF BUTTER THAT HAS BEEN SOFTENED WHICH BASICALLY MEANS U LET IT SIT SOMEWHERE FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR AND A CUP OF SUGAR OK THEN U GO MIX IT

also add sugar gradually if using electric mixer b/c otherwise u get nice mess to clean up

http://sadpanda.us/images/377038-A664LE3.jpg

ok now u have your BUTTER AND SUGAR THAT HAS BEEN MIXED EXPERTLY BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU ALL now add two eggs and mix the whole thing until it looks disgusting like that ok

now u let that sit somewhere ok

http://sadpanda.us/images/377042-P981E25.jpg

three BANANAS FUCK YEAH go ahead n slice those into tiny pieces with a knife or a fork or something

u can pretend like ur a gourmet sushi chef o m g how exciting

http://sadpanda.us/images/377045-U03XJ61.jpg

ok now u have ur wonderfully sliced bAnAnAs now put them in a bowl and add ONE TABLESPOON OF MILK AND one TEASPOON OF CINNAMON

add more cinnamon if u like cinnamon ok

use soymilk if ur lactose intolerant b/c ur a noob or smthin idk ok

add some vanilla if u like vanilla. a teaspoon will do

ok now put that somewhere safe ok

http://sadpanda.us/images/377049-I9ZF1OB.jpg

ok now you get a new bowl n get TWO CUPS OF FLOUR and a TEASPOON OF BAKING SODA BAKING POWDER AND SALT n put dat all into a bowl

ok cool now put that somewhere safe.

http://sadpanda.us/images/377054-GX1Z1UK.jpg

OK NOW YOU GO BACK TO YOUR DISGUSTING LOOKING THING IN A BOWL and add ur bAnAnA mixture 2 it ok

then u mix it

http://sadpanda.us/images/377056-ESX34I0.jpg

and it should look something like that

http://sadpanda.us/images/377057-S3KH761.jpg

NOW U ADD UR FLOUR MIXTURE TO IT

AND MIX IT ALL TOGETHER UNTIL U DONT SEE ANY MORE FLOUR OK

and to save urself a whole ton of grief add it in gradually ok

http://sadpanda.us/images/377063-T2ULQNH.jpg

and it shud look somethin lik dat

also it tastes prt gud and u prob wont get sick so go ahead n hav a taste

OK COOL UR ALMOST DONE

butter/grease some pan of ur choosing, a loaf pan works nicely

and pour ur delicious gooey thing into there

http://sadpanda.us/images/377068-P0I3U7Q.jpg

and stick it in the oven for around 1 hr n 15 mins

or when u can stick a toothpick/knife in there and delicious gooey stuff isnt attached to it.

den u w8 for like 15 mins n den it is rdy 2 eat ok

http://sadpanda.us/images/377141-S6IROCQ.jpg

self-diagnosis is fun and dangerous!

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	High
Schizoid Disorder:	Very High
Schizotypal Disorder:	High
Antisocial Disorder:	High
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Disorder:	Very High
Avoidant Disorder:	Low
Dependent Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

The crazy cat lady

eh so like there was this total diva and she had like a lot of cats
and she was pretty mean eh
so she kept these cats all locked ^ with a lot of like locks and a chastity belt
[btw these kool cats were all of the feminine variety]
[and no that does not mean gay]
so eh there was this master thief cat who heard about this travesty
and he was like
"eh, i need to provide my love to these poor cats"
so he stalked this crazy lady's house for a few days
and one day
he slipped in a window picking the locks with his claws
and swung from a chandelier
and day by day he visited each of the queen cats
and a couple months later
estée's house was full of samurai pizza cats
who strolled about with their katanas tied at the waist
and were all like
"wat ^ dear chap"

the end

eh, fun fact of the day: synthetic sapphire is used in making shatter-resistant "glass" windows.

From grace to sunshine!

To be honest there's nothing in my life really worth blogging about, and if it is it's sorta personal. But it's okay I'm a guy, I don't really care... Lately I've been like playing around with this girl named Grace, and she's so funnnsies to talk to and whatnot and yes I fell for her. She started petting my hair for some strange fetish reason and I ended up petting her hair and it turned out to be silky smooth and now we're like "touchy feely" as one of my "girlfriends" says. She also got me back into anime which is cool because I need someone who was really biased and recommended me tons of anime, even better she watches shounen :D. I dunno if I should say I like her since, well, it's middle school. She's moving onwards to a diff high school and she was like facebook still keeps us in contact! but not really. The actual asking people out is in fact not hard I've learned, it's just the thinking that revolves around it.

Lately I've been doing a roller coaster project with my friends instead of writing, such a shame. It's at 13 pages times new roman 12 font single spaced, but I want it to be 40 pages at least...the minimum is 20 pages, and it's due in late April but doing minimum towards my most favorite hobby and what will probably be my profession is crude. I've been thinking about going to a publisher when I'm a freshman and showing him my (crappy) novels. Who knows, the end result could only be positive for me. I've also been playing Super Mario Sunshine with my friend who never finished it, got him like 20 shines today alone because he's a noob that can't do the FLUDDless missions. He's almost at Corona Mountain, which will be absolutely hilarious to watch mwahaha. Also Mario Party with friends is absolutely amazing and nostalgic. I hope to shovel away LoL for other needs, but my friend is very into it now, with the livestreams and all that other junk. I suppose it was my fault...Other than that there is nothing of relatively intriguing proportions in my life, I'll disappear for now and maybe appear for some other exciting news in the distant future. Ciao~

I hate life

So like... I just found out that the Distant Worlds tour came to SF last July, and I never knew about it until just now. Probably because I was too hung up with K-pop to remember that Final Fantasy music is my true and eternal love.

AND NOBUO UEMATSU WAS THERE. I know I don't talk about it much, but he is MY HERO. Only 150 bucks for a meet and greet? I paid 240 to go to the Korean Music Festival, and I didn't even get to meet any of those groups.... I can't believe I missed out on this.... ;~;

If I could, I'd turn back time and instead of going to the 2AM concert in SF (which was also in July OTL), I'd go to Distant Worlds.

Oh god you guys... if you only understood. I want to meet Nobuo Uematsu more than I want to meet my favorite K-pop group, or even the cutest asian guy in the world, which is fucking saying something. I wish I could go up to him and shake his hand and tell him that he changed my life and that I seriously was going to become a music major, just so that someday I could play one of his compositions in concert, or take part in the next FF soundtrack. The only reason I didn't was... well... I guess I wasn't optimistic enough to follow through with that dream. Being a concert pianist is unbelievably tough, and I was afraid of failing and having nothing to fall back on (besides being a piano teacher, and I really didn't want to do that).

But now that I think about it, it's really sad that I let that slip away. I mean, god, I've only had two real dreams in my life, and they were becoming either a concept artist for a video game company, or becoming a composer/arranger/performer for a video game company. But neither of those were practical enough for my parents, who were like, "Why cant you dream of being a doctor? or a lawyer?" :(

But honestly, I have no one to blame but myself. I could have worked harder, been more passionate about pursuing what I loved. If I had given it my all, I could be like Kyle Landry right now, who I admire so much.

Anyway... the tour is only going to NY, Atlanta, and Chicago this year, so I... I really hope it'll come back to California sometime, maybe next year. I'd give anything. ;____;

---

On another note, I got accepted to EAP. So I'll be studying abroad in Korea this summer and fall.

In the dreamland, but not so much

Continuing where I left, I am finally in college. My first impression of it was that the place was so big, and it was; it's a campus now, with so many different departments, administrations; not to mention that it is the most prestigious college in my state. It felt good walking inside the gates, and looking for my classroom.

My first class was topography, right away on the field, so I was pretty excited; architecture has 70% of its subjects as practice lessons, or lab lessons. Expository lessons are usually grouped up in the first two years, and are mostly about art and history. I did have calculus and statistics, and god knows how I managed those two, because I don't remember anything I learned back then. These 2 subjects were dropped from the curriculum once I graduated, and replaced for something else. Sucks for me, or maybe not.

First year was a blast. All of us had the energy to get through everything, most of the subjects were introduction to something, so it wasn't that hard anyway. It's kinda like Gaiety and Xpecial; we know they are in college, but you never see them studying or anything. Geniuses should just catch on fire. It was during the first year that I played my first online game ever, a korean grinder called DragonRaja. It was pretty fun, I got to meet people from around the world, I could actually practice my english with them, I found out that the Chinese people there knew who to hack everything, since very few things were actually server sided. But it was still grind, so I ended up dropping away soon. GMs were very corrupt, there was no point in trying to grind for what everyone else got for free from them.

Second year started. Classes started to look a lot more architecture oriented. We had less professors from other departments, and a lot more project classes. It was pretty tough; our schedule was very tight, and I had my first allnighters in that year. Half way into that year I had a situation that changed my perspective of the course, why I was there, and if I should stay there. During the architectonic project class, while I was presenting a preliminary study to my professor and the class, he interrupted me and said my study wasn't good. He then complemented that if that was everything I could give him, then I should consider choosing something else to pursue. Everything fell apart to me that moment. The silence that followed those words, the shock of my classmates, and the professor himself realised what he had said, it was awful; I had never felt so defeated in my life. I wasn't even embarrassed by being exposed in that way, I was just too powerless to react to it.

I left the room while someone else proceeded to present his study and sat on a bench outside the lab block. I think I stayed there for about half an hour, with my mind being completely blank; I believe I cried too, but I probably didn't realise I was. The professor came out by himself, approached me, but he couldn't say anything, so he went back in. I just kept staring into nothing, not knowing what to do. Everyone, even the other half of the class that was having landscape lab, came to comfort me during the break. I thanked them and went home, I couldn't really do anything else for the day. At home I laid in my bed and stayed there until the next day.

Words are sharper than knives, and they pierce harder than guns. They are strong enough to save or to destroy someone.

What that man said to me became some sort of truth in my life, and restrained me for the rest of the course, and after. The already difficult and demanding course became a penitence. I'll talk more about it next time; this is actually very emotional to me, and if you can relate to it, I am also going to tell how I've been trying to get around it. There's hope, you may fall, and you will, but there are ways to stand up again.

Quand j'étais petite...

Quand j'étais petite, j'avais une poupée...

Quand j'étais petite, j'avais un petit chien...

Quand j'étais petite, j'avais un ourson...

When I was little, I didn't have to care about what was happening around me. I didn't have to care about what people thought about me.

Sometimes, I just wish that I could be little again. I wish I could be that carefree, energetic girl that I used to be. I want to be able to just dance around the streets without people staring at me. I want to be the curious little girl that was fascinated by the tiniest things. I want to have that optimistic, innocent, and bubbly view on the world. I want to bring cheer to others by just being a goof. I wish I didn't have to worry about what would happen tomorrow...

Ever wished to get a second chance?

Well, I got mine, and my entries are going to be discussing about it, so I hope you guys enjoy some serious stuff coming from a channel where that doesn't happen very often!

About 11 years ago, slightly before Arch was born, I was in my HS senior year, and here in Brazil, that's when you can takes exams in order to be admitted into the university. At that time, there was no unified exam for all unis, each one had its own tests, and you had to compete with every other senior student for a set amount of spots. In the college I applied for, they had around 67 students for each spot, and a total of 20 spots, so while that wasn't as high as the medical school ratios (it had 110 per), architecture was actually the second highest across all the courses (still is actually). We had 2 options: to take the exam in the middle of our senior year, and/or after graduation. You don't have to pass during your senior year, but you won't be admitted if you don't after you graduate. There was no credit system, and your HS grades didn't matter at all at the time - they do now to some extent. So I took the exam, not expecting to pass or anything, mainly because I didn't have to, and because the university is in my town, so there was nothing lost for not taking it, and I passed placed in 7th. It was a quite a shock.

I thought my life was set by then; I was even dismissed 2 months earlier in HS, since all my grades were above 90%, and I never skipped any classes that year. I was certain that my admiration for buildings, technology and interior design was all I needed to get through the college years; I really had no fears, only the excitement to see my life moving on normally. There was a problem I didn't realise though: I was 15 years old.

You are not mature at that age.

You are certainly not prepared to choose what to do for the rest of your life either.

I was so happy about not having to worry with the exam anymore, and that my vacations were going to be very long that I didn't really start to wonder if I had done the right choice. I knew I wanted to study away from my town, like many people do here, and over there as well, but parents did not approve that, and I didn't want to argue with them. I've always been that "perfect child" after all, it wouldn't be right to force my parents to do things the way I wanted, they are the authority, and even if I disagree with them, I must still show respect. I accepted that things were happening the way they were supposed to, and waited until classes started. The wait was a little longer because all universities went on strike for 6 months that year, but in July 2001 I set foot at the campus.

We are still 6 (or 7?) years behind the first time I saw that Miseri person standing by the Banker Guy's fence in Lunia. Yeah, that's right, mis was the first person I saw in lunia, but I never spoke to him until later. Not sure why, I think I just hated mis before I got to know him better. Sorry mis.

Gonna stop here for now. Next up, first years in college, and when everything fell apart!

why is it so hard to not be fat

stfu people with asian metabolism I hate you I lost mine somewhere

Anyway, been going to the gym the past couple days since a couple friends decided to drag me along. It's kinda nice to be working on being fit for once, but at the same time it leaves me so sore that it's a lot harder to keep up with mandatory PT times. Oddly enough, there are negative incentives for failing to meet standards on mock evaluations, regardless of the reason -- it's just weird that I could possibly be punished for not doing enough pushups when it's because I went to the gym and probably worked a lot harder the day before.

Also I am hungry all the time and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to manage to lose any weight this way. At least there's a chance I'll be gaining muscle, not fat for once ;-;